Estate Planning Blog Articles

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Elderly Parents Moving in with You? Steps to Prepare

Many families choose to care for elderly parents at home rather than placing them in assisted living or nursing facilities. While this arrangement can provide emotional and financial benefits, it also brings new challenges. Preparing in advance helps ensure that the parent and the rest of the household adjust smoothly.

Assessing the Level of Care Needed

Before moving a parent in, evaluating their physical and medical needs is essential. Some seniors require only minor assistance, while others may need daily help with mobility, medication management and personal care. Consulting with a healthcare provider or elder law attorney can help determine the necessary level of care and support.

Making Home Modifications for Safety and Accessibility

Bringing an aging parent into your home requires thoughtful adjustments to ensure their safety and comfort. Falls and mobility challenges become more familiar with age, making modifying the living space to reduce risks essential. A thorough home assessment can identify hazards such as slippery floors, poor lighting, or narrow doorways that may create difficulties.

A key priority is ensuring that essential rooms—like the bedroom and bathroom—are accessible. If possible, a ground-floor bedroom should be designated to eliminate the need for stairs.

Modifying Bathrooms and Kitchens

Bathrooms often require the most modifications and pose a high risk for falls. Installing grab bars near the toilet and shower, using a walk-in bathtub or shower with a bench, and placing non-slip mats on tile floors significantly improve safety. Kitchens should also be adjusted for ease of use by keeping frequently used items within reach and ensuring that appliances are simple to operate.

Making Elder-Friendly Passageways

Entryways and hallways may need modifications to accommodate mobility aids. A ramp may be necessary if the home has steps at the entrance. Doorways should be wide enough for walkers or wheelchairs, and any uneven flooring should be smoothed out to prevent tripping hazards. Smart home technology, such as voice-activated lighting and motion-sensor nightlights, can also enhance safety and convenience.

Establishing Legal and Financial Plans

Caring for an aging parent brings financial and legal responsibilities that require careful planning. Without a structured approach, unexpected medical needs, rising expenses, or legal barriers can create unnecessary stress. The first step is to review your loved ones’ healthcare coverage, including Medicare and Medicaid eligibility, to determine available services and benefits.

If your parents have long-term care insurance, they should evaluate it to understand what costs will be covered for in-home care or assisted living. You should also consider other potential funding sources, such as veteran’s benefits.

Update Estate Planning Documents

A financial power of attorney ensures that someone can manage the parent’s finances, pay bills and make legal decisions if the parent becomes incapacitated. Similarly, a healthcare proxy allows a trusted individual to make medical decisions in accordance with the parent’s wishes. If a will or trust has not been updated in years, now is the time to ensure that assets are protected and distributed according to the parent’s current preferences.

Setting Boundaries and Managing Family Dynamics

Living with an aging parent can impact family relationships. Establishing clear expectations for daily routines, privacy and caregiving responsibilities helps prevent stress and conflict. If multiple family members are involved, discussing how responsibilities will be shared can ensure that caregiving does not fall entirely on one person.

Starting the conversation can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. Call our law firm today to schedule a consultation and take the right step toward multigenerational living.

Key Takeaways

  • Assessing care needs is the first step: Understanding a parent’s medical and daily living requirements ensures the right level of support.
  • Home modifications improve safety and independence: Small adjustments, such as grab bars and accessible rooms, reduce fall risks and make living spaces more comfortable.
  • Financial and legal planning prevents future issues: Reviewing insurance, estate documents and caregiving costs ensures long-term stability.
  • Setting boundaries maintains family balance: Open communication and shared responsibilities prevent stress and ensure a smooth transition.
  • Advance preparation makes caregiving more manageable: Thoughtful planning leads to a safer, more supportive home environment for both parents and caregivers.

Reference: AgingCarePreparing for a Parent Living with You

How Estate Planning Prepares for Unexpected Medical Events

Estate planning is more than the distribution of property after a person dies—in fact, a large part of an estate planning attorney’s practice concerns helping people prepare for unexpected medical issues. A recent article from Merrill Foto News, “Know Your Legal Rights: Advance Care Planning Paves The Way For Future Medical Decisions,” explains what steps should be taken.

Anyone over 18 should have certain advance care plan documents in place, although these documents become even more critical as one reaches their later years. People who have been admitted to the hospital for emergency care, treatment for illness, or surgery all need someone else to speak with medical personnel on their behalf.

Having an Advance Directive, which is also known as Health Care Power of Attorney in some states, is necessary for another person to be able to be involved with your medical care. The healthcare law has become very restrictive, and simply being a person’s spouse or child may not be enough to allow you to make critical decisions on their behalf.

It’s best to name two people as your health care power of attorney—a primary and a backup in case the primary is unable or unwilling to act. If you and your spouse are both in a car accident, for instance, you’ll need someone else to advocate for both of you.

Who to name as your agent depends upon your situation. If your adult children live nearby, one of them may be the best choice if they can be counted on to follow your wishes. If no family is nearby, naming a trusted friend may work, unless you and the friend are both elderly. What would happen if your friend predeceased you or was unable to come to the hospital in the middle of the night? Your estate planning attorney can discuss your situation and help you determine the best candidates.

While many fill-in-the-blank Health Care Power of Attorney documents are available, it’s best to have one prepared by an estate planning attorney to reflect your wishes.

Your feelings about artificial life support also may have changed. Before COVID, people often said they didn’t want to be put on a respirator. However, respirators now save lives. Your wishes to be kept alive in the presence of different kinds of medical evidence may have changed from ten years ago. What if your heart is still working and a brain scan shows evidence of mental activities? Progress in medicine has led to more complex questions and answers about patients’ prognoses; you want a healthcare power of attorney document to reflect your wishes, given advances in medicine today.

Your feelings about healthcare decisions may have changed over time, so healthcare directives and an estate plan should be updated similarly to reflect changes in your life and circumstances.

Reference: Merrill Foto News (July 25, 2024) “Know Your Legal Rights: Advance Care Planning Paves The Way For Future Medical Decisions”

Can a Dementia Patient Sign Legal Documents?

Once a diagnosis of dementia has been received, families need to immediately begin advance care planning, as explained in a recent article titled “Can Someone With Dementia Sign Legal Documents” from Health News. Depending on their medical condition, some patients with dementia, particularly in early stages, may be capable of making their own decisions regarding legal decisions. However, discussions must begin early, so the person can be involved and understand the planning process.

When family members don’t know the wishes of their loved ones, they are more likely to experience distress and difficulties in making decisions. Families report feelings of guilt, self-doubt and stress while making advance care decisions with no input from their loved ones.

Laws concerning advance care vary from state to state. An elder law attorney can help older adults interpret state laws, plan how their wishes will be carried out and understand financial options.

Advance care planning focuses on both long-term care and planning for funeral arrangements. These documents typically include a durable power of attorney for healthcare, a living will and Do-Not Resuscitate orders, often called a DNR. Depending on state law, there may also be a MOLST document, short for Medical Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment.

The durable power of attorney for healthcare names another person who can serve as a proxy for the person with dementia, if and when the person is not able to make informed healthcare decisions for themselves.

A living will states a person’s wishes for end-of-life treatment. This documents their views about specific medical procedures including but not limited to dialysis, tube feeding or blood transfusions. If the person should become unconscious, then families may make treatment decisions based on what their loved one wanted.

A Do-Not-Resuscitate order is placed in a patient’s medical chart if the person does not want to receive CPR (cardiopulmonary resuscitation) if their heart stops or breathing ceases. This must be signed by a doctor before it is placed in the chart.

Planning for a funeral is a difficult task. However, it will alleviate stress and possible guilt in the future. People with dementia can tell their loved ones in advance what they want regarding a funeral or memorial service, burial, or cremation. If any arrangements are already in place, such as the purchase of a burial plot, providing details to family members will make it easier to manage.

Advance care planning can be a sensitive topic but seeking legal advice early on is useful so the family can focus on making sure their loved one has the care they want. Involving the person with dementia in the process is respectful. An elder lawyer attorney will be able to guide the family to ensure planning is done properly.

Reference: Health News (Jan. 11, 2023) “Can Someone With Dementia Sign Legal Documents”

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